I’m going to let you in on a little secret…morning aren’t my speciality. Once I’m up, the coffee is on I am slightly better but it’s taken a few months to stop being the angry morning mamma I had slowly become. It sounds awful but it’s true.
As you know I’m a SAHM, which means yes I can go back to sleep once the minx has her nap, but this would also mean that nada would get done. So here is a quick glimpse into our mornings and why sometimes the angry mum rears her ugly head.
- Leaky Mc Leak. Phoebe went through a stage of waking up super soaked having leaked through her nappy and pjs. When this happens it not only makes me have a mega mum guilt moment, it means a complete change of bedding and clothes for feebs. Sounds triveal but it really pissed (exsuse the pun) me off as it coinsided with tough nappy changes. The one where their bodies go rigid, stiff and they will try anything to flip over. Luckily this didn’t last long, we turned a corner.
- Hangry: Hungry + Angry = my child in the mornings. She’s just like me when hungry. Not a fab combo when it’s not even light outside yet. Plus when you didn’t wash the dirty dishes from last nights dinner or even put the loaded dishwasher on, it all seems to add the mix of angry mum. So I quickly wash dishes while fighting off a little hanrgy toddler who can see the dry porridge oats, banana and just fecking wants it NOW! Pulling at your legs, grunting, pointing, trying to shimmy in front of you and the kitchen worktops resulting in a bang on the head followed by the little winge then full blown tears. Seriously we do this every morning, some are better than others.
- The food strike. This is the one that still gets me. Phoebe has watched me prepare the breaky, cried for it but once in the chair is not interested and just shakes her head! I can’t help think ” what a bloody waste” but I know she’ll eat later.
- Bed shanagins. Nice fresh clean nappy, warm milk, dummy and knackered yet she won’t sleep! Chatting away to herself, bouncing up and down and a favourite for a while was bashing her dummie onto the headboard, fecking loud!
- Little bo bo’s. I’m never impressed when feebs has her morning nap and barely sleeps 45 minutes, some people may take that. I’m not one of those people, as I know she needs more sleep to function. This also means I never quite finish all my morning cleans ups. I just about have time for a second coffee and a peaceful shit! Sometimes it’s a shit that wakes her up, then she’s a grump as doesn’t want her stinky nappy changing!
So there you have it, you all know my dirty little morning secrets. I should also point out that we do have some picture perfect morning as well as those mentioned above. On those mornings I’ve normally called in the help of the hyper active smiley, happy presenters on Milkshake tv (channel 5), the classic CBeebies and of course Peppa bloody Pig. It works, she sings, signs and loves to choo choo along with Thomas and his friends and I’ve worked on being a calmer morning mamma.