Mummy had a Meltdown

Two days ago I had a mummy meltdown. I call it this because it sounds better {to me} than, I lost my shit! I want to be writing about our fun day out at the beach, splash park and all the adventures along the way, which hopefully I will once I’ve shifted this weird combo of guilt and shame {yep I said it} that I’m feeling.

I haven’t had one of these moments for a long time and I’m not really sure where it came from, but I think it was a mixture of: Toddler tantrums + pmt + sunshine + tired toddler + gritty sand – clothes & nappy = A Mummy meltdown

Buckets of fun

Splash splash

When the water runs out!

Phoebe loves water, she’s almost obsessed with it, most of her recent temper tantrums have been water based, so I wasn’t surprised when we ended up getting a full blown frantic tanty on the beach. I had already changed Phoebe out of soaking wet clothes about 15 minutes before, after some great fun at the splash park. She was dripping wet, but the sun was out so it didn’t matter and I had packed plenty of clothes for this exact thing. I managed to change her without too much fuss but pretty much straight away, she of course ran back over to the splash part of the park! I only had one more change of clothes…a dress and wanted to use that after some beach play. So I plonked her safely in her buggy with the promise of a lollol. This worked and it meant her little friend could carry on playing for another 10 minutes while Phoebe had some chill time. After about 11 minutes she started to loose it, so we packed up, left the park and quickly shove an ice cream in her face.

Happy girl

New outfit

Phoebe doing her water dance

The next 5 minutes were heaven, I could enjoy my nobly bobbly {just fancied one} whilst looking out over the sea to the soundtrack of two toddlers who were throughly enjoying their ice creams. The mood didn’t last long as Phoebe obviously finished first then wanted her friends, as he was still quietly eating his, luckily I distracted her with the water, some selfie’s and letting her know we were going to go play on the beach very soon.

Having mummy’s ice-cream

Our view

Pleased with herself

We made our way down the the beach by doing the backwards sand walk with the strollers and unloaded. It was all going so well, Phoebe was digging happily with the slightly wet sand {it has rained that day} jumping up and down, rolling and generally being the confident soul that she is. 15 minutes in, she had noticed the sea and was off, which is fine as I knew this would happen and normally when daddy pig is with us, they throw stones and have a little splash. Today Phoebe was feeling a little more adventurous, stone throwing  wasn’t cutting the mustard, she wanted in! I whipped her leggings off, let her wonder in and then once she got to knee height I lifted her up and dunked her legs, making it into a game as the waves came in!

Beach buds

Exploring the sand

I can see the seaaaaa

Water girl

Again it was all going fine until Phoebe wasn’t happy with me helping her, she started to wriggle and almost lunged out of my grip. At this point, I wish I had handled it differently. So, I ended up panicking, I shouted a little and got upset with her. I tried to explain it was dangerous to do that and that I needed to help her until she was bigger! This didn’t go down well, I tried walking up the beach to go back for more digging but as soon as I let go of her hand, she ran back to the waters edge and almost dived into the sea, I managed to grab her arm just before her face went in. We then wrestled/tussled about, Phoebe was completely wet, we had gritty sand all over both of us and she was lashing about like a demon child, doing her best Chewbacca impression. This is when I properly lost it. I scooped her up whilst ranting away, went back to our area, started to strip her off then attempted to remove as much sand/small stones from her as I could.

When the fun began

Trying to carry on playing

That was when she lost her shit, big time and started to grab handfuls of sand, rub it in her eyes, hair and at me. When I rubbed it out of her eyes and tried to calm her down she ended up biting her arm so badly out of angry and frustration, she then screamed with the pain. At the time I was so frustrated at her for just having to once again take things to the extreme and in my head, I couldn’t help thinking we’d now ruined what was a lovely play on the beach with friends.Luckily my mate realised I needed some back up quickly stepped in {my hero} cool as cucumber and together we somehow managed to stick a new nappy onto her sandy bum and breathe. We hugged it out, dried off the salty tears {from both of us} had another outfit change then chewy {Phoebe} had a nice calm couple of minutes in the stroller so I could gather my thoughts, pack away the wet belongings and do the sandy backwards walk of shame back up to reality.

I normally deal with these moment with more of humours side, try to breathe stay calm and smile, this was not one of those days and do you know what, I’m only human and just a normal parent who sometimes can’t keep the shouty ranty mum at bay and that’s okay with me. I chatted it out with daddy pig that night, making me feel much better about it all. I don’t feel guilty or regret the whole incident anymore {like I did} I’m just a bit pissed off at myself for not trying other methods or ways of dealing with the situation. I’m not going to dwell on it but I’m going to take away some valuable lessons and turn this into a positive by adding in some new techniques for temper tantrums, making sure i’m more aware of the current age milestones/ticks plus check when her next development leap is and finally try to take is all with a pinch of salt or in this case, sand as I don’t want “crazy beach mamma” coming out anytime soon.

Have you recently had a mummy meltdown? How did you deal with it afterwards, did you share you’re story like I did or keep quiet and move on?  Oh and I want to finish off with a hilarious photo, my friend made for me to see the funny side of my Chewbacca Child…

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