10 signs I’m parenting a Toddler!

Now my little munchkin is almost 26 months old, most normal daily tasks such as putting on socks followed by shoes can take up to 10 minutes per foot, involves a struggle, lots of encouragement, explanation and patience. Every day if different when parenting a toddler, it’s hard work but also very funny and rewarding watching the adventures unfold, even if it does mean things take that bit longer, I sweat more and have to count to ten frquently to get through the day.

I don’t need any help, thank you

Little explorer

My little smiler

I  try not to let it show, as I know Phoebe will only pick up on it, making it ten times worse however repeatedly getting kicked by an energetic toddler who really doesn’t want to wear socks twice a day (sometimes more) is starting to get to me.

The other one that gets me, is when she randomly bursts into tears, starts pointing to the bin and shouting “gone & bye bye” with tears streaming down her face..wow I just put the empty packet in the bin (non recyclable) it’s not that big a deal, which quite clearly it is!  The new noises are also amusing yet annoying at the same time. The worst, is her winey cry that is all put on plus the fake tantrums are rather funny, well, to a point.

I know we’ve been dealing with the textbook temper tantrums for months now, but this is something totally different , I suddenly feel as thought I have a full blown toddler on my hands, I’m always shouting “get down” as she climbs constanly (I feel like James Brown), is fiercely independent so never wants my help, can run at super speeds and can be needy when she wants to, it’s like I  can finally see what everyone’s been talking about!

So here’s my Top 10 signs that I know I’m parenting a toddler:

1.Bossy Boots. Phoebe is a bossy little thing and will take your hand/finger leg (or whatever she can grab) as soon as walk into a room, drag you back into another one, shouting “sit” followed by your name and where she would like you to sit. It’s on your head if you don’t comply. Little miss bossy will also make you read the same book repeatedly, wear dress up and make you squeeze into her outside summer house, no matter what size your are.

2.Clothes wars. Pre Phoebe I always wondered why you saw those kids,dressed really well but missing socks or shoes, maybe they wouldn’t be wearing a coat in the rain or might have two coats on and yes I judged them thinking god how awful…now it all makes perfect sense, the toddler won that clothes war and the parent is to tired and sweaty to care by that point.

3.Mumming. We can’t wait until our little darlings start talking and  saying “mamma” but as soon as they do, it’s like ok enough mumming already. Phoebe has mastered all the various ways of saying my “name” which is adorable but adding them all together drives me crazy and I can hear myself starting to sound like my mum, oh my its begun.

4.Tantrums. This is an obvious one, but it still shocks me how the smallest of things can set them off. Plus in the last month ours have dramatically increased and we also now get a real performance. The “mock” ones, where she’s pretending to cry and covers her eyes, I find this is a walk away situation, incase I laugh. They are often caused by her trying to get something that she clearly shouldn’t be playing with but really wants, so will say “PPPEEEAASSSS” over and over again, as if that charming version of please is going to clinch the deal and i’ll immediately hand over my sharp nail scissors oh darling daughter.

Come on Mamma,

Please read again…

This way mummy

When the water runs out!

Beach tantrum

Baking tantrum

5.Injuries. I would say this is the worst one as it’s normally me that takes the brunt of Phoebes frustration, its like she finds the heaviest object to throw/drop at me, mainly landing on my toes or shins. Those big musical books always hurt, her drinks bottle should be classed as a weapon and her little pokey fingers and long legs can cause some serious damage not to mention those teeth!

6.Snatch (Play) Dates. There comes a point where playdates are no longer that relaxing and there is defiantly no chit chatting whilst sipping a hot coffee, it soon becomes a territorial snatchy match between the two “friends” while me and the other parent become the referees, insisting they both share nicely.

7.Gobbledygook. I adore hearing Phoebe chatting away in her own little language, putting the together words that she knows “FiFi (as she calls herself) buggy, go outside?” Her speech is coming along lovely but it’s those words she can’t quite say yet, that sound like a foreign alien language. I have no idea what she is trying to say sometimes and this does lead to the odd tantrum, but I totally understand her jargon, even if I’m the only one that does.

8.Stickers. These are the bane of my life right now. I find them everywhere, inside my socks, the washing machine, on the furniture and all over her toys, I don’t think there is a  surface she hasn’t attacked. She is sticker obsessed which means I now have to keep our sticker collection stocked up and also buy her a weekly Peppa Pig Magazine, which always includes stickers and craft..yipppee!

Play together nicely

Stickers…everywhere

Noisy girl

I will daddy’s work jacket

No trousers no mum

Getting attacked

9.Noises. I know kids are loud, but it always feels like yours are the loudest in the room, or at least I do anyway. It’s not just the level of noise Phoebe produces but the noise itself. My personal pet hate is a new, odd winey high pitch scream (that I’m sure wakes all the cats up in the neighbourhood) she’s developed for the bus journey, its horrible and I find myself apologies to strangers, thanks Minx.

10.Handbag. These days my handbag is like an extension of Phoebe play area and we’ve got to that stage now where we can’t leave the house unless the random said object that Phoebe has decided that day, is her new favourite thing is wedged into mummies bag at once. I also have bloody raisins stuck on the inside of every bag I own, along with the odd crayon, dummy and of course stickers!!!

There are plenty more, lovely little toddler traits I could add, in fact I could just keep writing but I worry it may start to sound a tad ranty, so I’ll stop at 10. It’s a random rollercoaster of a ride this old parenting a toddler lark, it comes out of nowhere and slaps you in the face, no warning just boom you now have a crazy toddler to control, have fun, please keep your arms inside the ride at all times and scream if you want go faster.

Please feel free to add to my list as I’m sure I’ve forgotten something and if I have, it’s probably because at the end of everyday I feel as though I’ve taken part in one of those Tough mudders obstacle army courses, which of course I haven’t…I’ve just been parenting a toddler all day.

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