I don’t really know where to start with this subject. It doesn’t have a name or a category that I’m aware of, it’s just a thought that creeps in occasionally, I hope I’m not alone in thinking this.
The feeling that your child has more fun with your mates, grandparents or sometimes it can even be the bloody postie. I know this isn’t always true but it does get to me. Most of the time it happens during an awful nappy change, those ones where you have to pin them down, they end up crying and from the other room it sounds like a form of torture. Once said nappy is changed they then run off to Daddy/Nanna forgetting little old mamma, who’s left behind with the shitty nappy feeling a bit unwanted! Granted I don’t alway feel like this, usually I’m like great I can crack on with my half finished jobs, have a cuppa but some days I feel a little unappreciated by my bundle of joy.
Phoebe is only 22 months so I can’t blame her for wanting to play with the “fun” people rather than the person who you know, demands you wear clothes and socks, feeds you yummy food all day, picks up the dummy for the hundredth time, sings you songs, puts her hand up a puppet duck or pigs arse, wears baskets on her head to make you laugh and even attempts DIY imaginative play for you…. I sound like such an unfun mum.
Anyways, I think I know some of the reasons why Phoebe does it, mainly because she’s been with me all day, it’s a different style of play and interaction plus she’s a social butterfly. Knowing doesn’t make it easier but it softens the blow. Another factor I have to remember is that most of the people I get ditched for don’t have children (Broody) or they are grown up (have all the answers/questions!) meaning they have more time, can be super fun and playful. They also don’t mind putting a hat on again and again or pretending to make cups of tea in mini cups…you get the picture and I must mention I completely thank these fun friends and family that allow me 5 minutes…my hero’s.
When the lovely fun friends have gone back to their clean, quiet homes somewhat drained (plus sticky) all is quickly restored in the mummy love balance with the added bonus of bed time. I let her splash me in the face, sing as many bath related songs I can remember and for those 10-15 minutes I am the bees knees again. It then shifts back to unfun mum when she see’s the new nappy I’ve taken out the bag plus the dreaded pj’s. Somehow she can always hear Daddy Pig coming up with her milk , she’s half dressed running off and once again I am left with the dirty clothes/nappy, soaked wet through, now daddy is suddenly her precious. I pop in after changing into dry clothes say “night night” normally get a kiss, a wave then a shove. I know my cue to leave until morning when I’m number 1 again.
Do you ever feel like this too? Let me know by popping a comment below.
I’ve linked up with the following fab blogs:
Not Just Phoebe 
Aww Bless you! I remember the first time I felt like that was at the library. I’d taken Dexter to story time and with me he always tried to grab the books or chew them but at the library he sat so still and so intrigued by the lady reading tot he story! I had to wonder what she had that I didn’t!
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Thanks Leslie, it’s a weird and horrible feeling but I know it’s not personal 🙂 thanks for commenting X
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I remember when I was told when my son was a baby that sometimes he will want his dad and not to get too upset. It’s true that sometimes, children want someone else. My oldest is a teenager and sometimes he would rather spend time with his grandparents. Nowadays he spends more time with his dad, It’s natural. I still remember the first time he went to his dad and wanted to be with daddy rather than myself. He was six months old and it hurt more than I expected it to. Logically, I knew it was going to happen but it still hurt when it actually did. You’re still your baby’s mama though, always and forever:) #bloggerclubuk
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Thanks for your lovely comments. It’s really nice to hear that I’m not alone in my thinking and your totally right they need that different energy and style of play. It hurts sometimes but I know it’s normal and naturally it will happen more. It’s all a learning curve hey! X
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I know this feeling. The mums are always the disciplined ones and the dads and grandparents/friends are the fun ones. It sucks! #bestandworst
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That’s it, we have to set the rules and implement them while the fun ones take all the glory!! Like a good cop bad cop situation 🙂 X
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Awwww, I definitely went through this stage with my son, he would much rather have played with Daddy and his Aunty than me for the reasons that you list!! Thanks so much for stopping by and linking up, means alot, hope to see you again! #bestandworst
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Thanks for your comments Helen. It seems I am really not alone in this, lots of similar stories so I’m like phew it’s not just me! I’ll try and link up again next week X
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I know this feeling, sometimes I feel like I’m always the boring one. The one who just does all the everyday stuff with them. Thanks for linking to #PickNMix
Eilidh x
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It hard to play all the roles and I’m learning to accept it a bit more, Im going to use the time to get blogging more X
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I can totally relate! These little people have so much power over our feelings and can leave you feeling overlooked – I often feel like the fun police lol. But its those times when they cry and call for you instead of grandma, or want a snuggle in the night that makes it all worth it x
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I often refer to myself as the fun police as well! It really it crazy how they can bring out all these different emotions in us, but totally after when they call for mumma and come and give you a nice big fat wet kiss you know it’s all okay! Thanks for commenting X
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The first time my toddler even said mummy was the day her baby brother was born. She had a huge vocabulary, she was just stubborn, and it took a day away from her for the first time for her to ‘appreciate’ me! She’s still like it now. Everyone’s more fun than mum. But when she’s hurt or upset, it’s me she wants.
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Wow that must have meant so much to you, an emotional time. It’s so nice to be appreciated. Thanks for sharing X
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I know this feeling well too – im good to play with until daddy comes in from work then im dropped like cold toast!! lol
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My daughter is also a huge daddy fan, runs in shouting daddy’s car!!!
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Ahh don’t worry you will always be number one when it comes down to it. When are with the kids all day it’s a novelty to have someone new like daddy or a visitor enter the picture & it’s exciting as they do things differently. Thanks so much for linking up with blogger club uk x
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We both love that moment when daddy comes home from work..it’s like tag out, she’s yours! Or when my mates pop in, it’s like I don’t exist! Learning to love it secretly now X
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I totally identify with this!! My first baby only ever seemed to want my mum and dad. As soon as he could identify faces, there’d be huge smiles for them, and very little for me. As soon as he could reach, he would always reach out for them, and when they were around, not want me at all. Once, in the brief time that I went back to work between babies, when I went to get him from my mums, he wouldn’t come anywhere near me, and screamed like a banshee for my mum-I’ve never been so hurt. He’s not quite so bad now, but these days the preference seems to be for daddy, but I’ll do when there’s nobody else. Number 2 has more than made up for it though-he won’t be without me for a second!! But it is so hard when you put in all the hard work, all for their wellbeing, and they treat you like the bad guy for it!!
Thanks so much for sharing with #bigpinklink!
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Thanks for commenting. That must have been hard for you, my daughter has such a great bond with my mum (nana) and often cries when we leave her or she has to go! Sounds like number 2 is levelling it out. X
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For little people the novelty factor always seems to win, so they seem to love the people that they spend less time with and take the one they do for granted…. but to me this just means they are secure enough in your love to not feel they have to work for it. You are just there and they know you always will be.
Thanks for linking up to #PicknMix
Stevie x
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Thanks for your lovely comments. I really do have a social butterfly on my hands, and your right she knows where I am if she needs me and she always does eventually! X
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I remembered one time my kids told me and their dad that they preferred their childminder because she bring them out and plays with them, it’s heartbreaking to hear it because they didn’t know that we paid their childminder to do it for them while we’re both away to work to earn money. But I hope once they’re a bit bigger, they can understand the situation better. Don’t be too hard on yourself, I bet of all the people on earth, our own kids prefer their mum as the only place they ever wanted to be. Lovely post! #justanotherlinky
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That must have been so hard, thanks for sharing it with me. I really am learning to not be so hard on myself, but it’s tough this motherhood. We had a moment today when we left nanna, and she just cried and screamed from the stroller nooo mummmm!!! Was heartbreaking 😦 but I’m getting better at it! X
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You really aren’t alone lovely. My two are like this with my husband and their grandparents but if we are honest it’s because we do the boring day to day stuff that needs to be done. Thanks for linking up to #justanotherlinky xx
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Thanks babe, sometimes it really does feel like a lonely time but knowing it’s a part of motherhood is making me feel better 🙂 she absolutely loves me and at the moment can’t seem to get enough of me X
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Oh, that’s a familiar feeling – but I tell myself that I probably have more fun moments with my kids than anyone else, even if they are surrounded by hours of nagging, cajoling and fretting. Then I spend another three hours arguing about my boy into the car seat. 🙂
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Thanks for reading and it’s nice to hear it something other mamma’s go through 🙂 at the moment she’s very loving and gives me huge cuddles when she gets back from an outing with nanna, which makes it seem all that bit better! And recently she stated calling me mummy not mamma. So cute! X
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